Talk to me when you’ve had 40, then we’ll re-evaluate.” What I realized was that dating—at mid-life, with kids, careers and lessons learned from a failed marriage—was going to be much more complicated than getting to know the cute guy in Art History class. After four years of dating, more than 100 first dates and a few lovely but ultimately unsustainable relationships, combined with my professional experience as a psychologist, I have found that people go about the dating process has everything to do with whether they enjoy it and how successful they are.
The first man I dated asked me to take the Five Love Languages Quiz.
I remembered taking the quiz when I was married, and as I answered questions from my newly single perspective, I had the realization that I had what was important in a relationship this time around—all bets were off.
I wasn’t looking for someone to take care of me or to have children with or to be accepted by my family.
There were no rules, no societal expectation or reputations or worry about.
We learned from Jerry Maguire that the ultimate in connection is: ; but that sort of dependence on another person to feel whole is not sustainable.
It will deprive you of an essential growth opportunity to gain wisdom, strength and trust in yourself.
[image: via shutterstock] Ready for conscious, like-minded individuals you really want to meet?
Register with Meet Mindful for free today—the fastest growing dating site for conscious singles.
You will gain perspective on your marriage and yourself, and learn about things you want and don’t want in a relationship this time around.
You also will learn how to be a girlfriend/boyfriend rather than a spouse, which will take some time, especially if you spent a good part of your adulthood in a marriage.
Divorce is hard on everyone concerned whether it’s amicable or acrimonious because no-one gets married with the intention of it ending in divorce.